Wow, what a week it has been. I'm so dizzy I don't even know where to start.
The refugees from Grampian were trying to rent a sim together but rather than risk friendships, they backed out. I hope that I was able to help the group while we were together, we are all still family.
Ian has dissappeared from search and groups. He remains on our friendslist and still shows up partnered with me. We fear that he has closed his SL account.
MrDuck has put up a memorial plaque for him at Remembering Our Friends. Ask me for the LM if you want to view it. Keep the oil burning for our friend.
Ian, if you read this, we just want to know you are ok. We all still care about you. I will not give up hope. You are my partner, still. I hope one day you will return to second life. If you cannot return as Ian Bartfeld, I hope you can create a new avatar and contact me so I know you are ok. I will sweep you up into my arms and kiss you like never before! It has been a week since I last kissed your lips. I miss you so much. You brought such beauty into my world. If you cannot get back into SL, please email me or IM me.
firstname.lastname@example.org (email and msn)
On another note, Stallions Gay Club has closed its doors. I wish Gareth all the best in the future.
My brother, Franzi, has refriended me, I'm glad to talk to him again.
My brother, Benji, and his husband, Matty, have gotten together in rl! Congrats!!
My brother, Galen, partnered with his boyfriend, Ciroc. Congratulations!
I have started hanging out with dear friend, Jennilyn, again.
Well, my next post was supposed to be my wonderful Valentine's night with my beloved Ian. Friday he bought me a Huddles system as sort of an early Valentine's gift. Saturday was perfect. I could not have asked for a more romantic time with the love of my life. Sunday we went dancing. Monday... Nothing. Tuesday... Nothing. Wednesday I arrived online to find out the three sims of Grampian Estate were offline, abandoned by their owner. His blog here was closed as well as his blogger account. Those who had his email for sending in tier payments reported that the email accounts were closed. Still no one has heard word from him.
As of now, his SL account remains intact and we remain partnered. I hold on to every shred of hope that he is ok. By ok, I mean alive. Without knowing, my mind swirls around in overwhelming circles. I feel so lost and cry at the thougth that something bad could have befallen him. I am drowning in my tears and tormented by my fears.
Ian, my love, if you are alive and reading this, please let us know you are ok. If anyone has any information, please please please pass it along. I know if you are reading this, something major has happened in your life that you would give up on your dreams like this. I stand by your side through the darkest of times. You are my friend, you are my family, you are my sunshine. I miss you so much it hurts. Please come home to me, my kitty basket is cold without you.
The following is a letter I wrote to Ian in hopes he will read it.
I know whatever you are going through in real life has got to be devestating to you. You have a kind heart. It pains me to know you are going through a rough time. The pixels of Second Life brought us together, but I like to think that after all that we have shared, the friendship extends past the screen.
I understand that there are a lot of things we have never discussed. I know you are a private person. I like to keep my real life private as well and understand that second life can strain real life and real life can strain second life. I know that with the support of friends and family we can make it through anything.
It is very surprising to suddenly lose you and everything relating to Grampian. I understand that the time and money of running the estate can really effect your real life. It is very understandable that you would have to leave. I think the thing that surprised us the most was not hearing a word from you.
Everyone came to my home and we talked quite a bit. We all still care about you and worry about you. We are more concerned than mad about it. So for now, Wildcat Beach is home to The Grampian Refugees. I got my stuff and what I could out of Grampian. We were all sad to have to clear out but the underlying conversation was our love for you.
You don't have to be a landowner to enjoy second life. You can survive here without spending a lot of money. You can still spend quality time with family and loved ones without being on here all the time. We are all hoping that you are ok and will return to us, even if it is in a more limited role.
I know you care about me. I really care about you. I know you have your real life and I have my real life, but I still have feelings for you. You have become quite special to me and I enjoy having you in my life. You have been the best thing to happen to me. I am not going anywhere. I hold out hope that you will return and we can work through this together.
I am always here for you. I support you always. You are welcome to come stay with me at Amicus, you are more than a friend. You are missed around here by many people and we hope you will be back with us soon.
Life is full of so many choices. Some are easy, some are hard. Well, this one might just make you hard!! LOL. Anyway, I'm trying to decide which picture I like best for my dancer's application. Hahaha. Let me know which one you like best!
My Brother, Franzi, has found love and partnered!!! I'm so happy for him. I saw some pictures of the two of them... purrrrrr. Congratulations Franzi and Kenshi! I wish you both much happiness. I love the kitty forms! White Tiger and Black Panther!! I might have to stop by in my Snow Leopard skin to give you some celebratory licks!!
Also, with the help of a very special friend and landowner at Grampian Estates, Ian will be keeping the Bay sim open! Woohoo. I'm so happy for him. Together, the Grampian Family will help make his dreams a reality here in this anti-reality we call second life. lol.
By now everyone who knows me, should know that I'm SL's DJ ReZ's Lil Neko Bro. That is right, my truest and closest and most trusted friend is Rickie Zabaleta. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I was meant to find Rickie in my journey through life. Our roads crossed and we knew we were meant to walk side by side. The road was full of bumps and potholes but we picked each other up each time the other stumbled.
He gave me light when the world seemed so dark. He gave me strength when I couldn't stand. When I felt nothing but cold, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. When I needed a shoulder to cry on, he always was there with a warm smile. When he just needed to stay up all night and talk until his alarm clock scared him, I was there to quietly listen.
Over the months our friendship grew stronger and closer. My life is truely blessed because of having met him. The profound connection of friendship spread beyond the pixels of Second Life and into the heart of the person behind the keyboard. I know I am never alone for he is in my heart and soul as he will never be alone because I am in his.
I never tried to get in the way of his happiness in his partnership with Gabriels and Quagmire. A friendship as deep as ours is rare but true. The love between us is different than the love between partners though just as special.
So, with this being said, I now must direct my attention to the news my brother has shared. Sometimes the body is weaker than the soul. He is sick with cancer. I know he does not want pity. I do not give that. I give nothing but my love and support. I will be there at his side until his wings carry him from this plane into another world.
I know I am never losing him. He will be with me always. But I don't want to dwell on that while he is still alive and kicking and rocking second life with his passion for music. He still has life to live!!
Rickie, I'm here. For a Lifetime. *size* I love you always my dearest most true friend.
Love always, Your Lil Neko Bro Neko Nevie (And Bort too)
Well, the past week has had a lot of ups and downs for me, but I keep climping the mountain and smile out over the beautiful view. A lot of drama has plagued my sl exisitance and that continues even today. I have some great friends and "family" who are always there for me. I also have done my best to be there for them.
Most of my close friends have heard of the parting of the ways between the owner and managers of Grampian Estates. It has been a rough journey, but I have stood by my new partner's side through this. We never know what the future holds, but I believe in moving forward and seeing. We grow stronger from our trials.
It has been good catching up with some friends I haven't seen in forever. Damien and Haptic have been so busy, I hardly see them anymore. I love hanging out with them though. I also finally have seen more of Danny as well.
My Twin Bridges Family grows stronger still. No matter what we are always there for each other. They have moved over to Grampian Pride Land as Grampian Pride Bay will be sunk next week.
Things are looking up for Rickie. It relieves me to hear this. Benji has had a great week as he is now partnered, engaged and getting married this weekend. Octavia is having a good time with her new friend, Wahoo.
I do hear from some other friends, I'm always grateful for friendship. I will never turn away from my friends. I do not hold anything against them. I try to be understanding of everyone's difficulties and problems. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same. I thank everyone for their concern and support always.
As far as me... I have a new skin that is totally sexy! I also have a new hairstyle that will be debuting tomorrow. I have left some of my jobs and still look for a fun time on SL. You can right now still find me dancing at Tigers and Stallions.
As always, thank you for your love, support, help and patience. You are amazing friends and I could not be who I am without you!!
I love my partner, Ian, and look forward to strengthening our relationship and rebuilding Grampian Estates together.